Medical Humor...(or not) Irish Medical Dictionary

Why Irish? I don't know exactly but per a recently received email:
"The Irish have a low stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life."

Artery.................. The study of paintings
Bacteria.................Back door to cafeteria
Barium...................What doctors do when patients die
Benign....................What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section......A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan..................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize................Made eye contact with her
Colic......................A sheep dog
Coma.....................A punctuation mark
Dilate....................To live long
Enema....................Not a friend
Fester....................Quicker than someone else
Fibula.....................A small lie
Impotent.................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain..............Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff...........A Doctor's cane
Morbid....................A higher offer
Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates
Node......................I knew it
Outpatient................A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................Cousin to Elvis
Post Operative...........A letter carrier
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery
Rectum....................Nearly killed him
Secretion.................Hiding something
Seizure...................Roman emperor
Tablet....................A small table
Terminal Illness.........Getting sick at the airport
Tumour...................One plus one more
Urine.....................Opposite of you're out
2 x Condoms.............To be sure, to be sure

There's a Gazelle on the Lawn

I love words.

I love word games.

I love word puzzles.

I love trivia related to words.

One of my favorite shows is A Way With Words.

Lets say you have a guest over for dinner and someone in your family has food on their face....a way to tell them is saying out loud "there is a gazelle on the lawn"...it draws attention away from the person with the food on their face and out to the lawn... or to you where your guest will think you just lost your marbles...obviously while searching for a gazelle.

The Blechs

This week started off really rough.

Blindsided by a judge that has a heart for incompetent and fake fathers. Either that or his BS detector was forgotten at home that day.

I have been feeling kind of gross since Monday. I am not looking forward to the shift in the new custody order. I call it an order because it's definitely not an agreement.

I am strong. I know I will overcome this period of blechness.

A friend told me recently to put my energy toward thinking positive. Positive thoughts...think of what I want...and not what I don't want. Something about the universe hearing what you are putting out there. It doesn't catch the word don't though. For instance, "I don't want my boys to have overnight visits during the week with their bio-dad" is just saying "I WANT my boys....etc..." See what I am saying?

Instead of focusing on what I "don't" want....I will put my thoughts and energy into...

I want my sons to be happy.
I want my sons to be well taken care of.

My sons will be happy.
My sons will be well taken care of.
My sons will know that their mommy loves them with all her heart even if I am not physically there.

God is so good. He has really brought this for a reason. This is an answered prayer. It is. I am sure. I have been praying for my sons bio-dad to really be a better dad. To desire to spend more time with his sons. To be a more active parent. To not be so angry and mean with our eldest when he doesn't get homework right....or is just being a pubertal butt-head.

Judge ordered parenting classes for the dad...and once the classes are complete, he can have the increased parenting time and the decrease in child support.

I continue to pray for him. That he has asked for this for the right reasons. I want to believe he desires more time with his sons and not just the financial break he was seeking. But that would be most unwise for be to believe considering his history.

God will provide. God loves. God answers prayers.