Outta My Head

Middle School Discrimination??

2010-06-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have seen this happen first hand.

Right before my eyes.

My children are mixed race (aren't we all to a varying degree??).

My son made a friend at his new school the first week and that friend wrote his name on notebook paper. He wrote out my son's name in a graffiti style. Note this is ON PAPER and my son then placed it in his binder cover.

This happened the first week of school back in August 2009.

What date is it now? What year is it now?

Today was the last day of school.

Yesterday the above mentioned paper was confiscated from my son. He was told it would be up to the school to decide if he should be given a day of in-class suspension. (What? For something he didn't write?? Something he didn't write on paper??)

He had to miss his class field trip yesterday because of poor grades. He had to sit in a classroom with other kids that had to miss too. Many were also for poor grades but others were behavioral problems (fighting, other infractions). Those that know my kiddo...know that he doesn't fall into that group. He just didn't do what he was supposed to in class and didn't do his homework. (That my dear reader is for another post for another day!)

I wrote to this particular teacher and was advised yes it was taken from him and that it was catalogued in the event it shows up around school (i.e. on walls etc).

Really? As IF he would write his OWN name on walls at school.

Because he didn't do his homework...doesn't make him STUPID.

So, where is the kid that drew it? What kind of trouble would he be in?

I know we have free speech in this country...what happened to freedom of expression? ON PAPER NO LESS?

I am afraid my young man has been singled out for something he didn't do but something he had...and it was HIS NAME. No profanity... his name.

I am composing a letter to the principal, the assistant principal (who returned the picture to me), the school district. This is ridiculous.

This may not be racial profiling but I do feel this is some level of discrimination that I refuse to teach my son totolerate.

23.9 kilograms = 52.6904807 pounds

2010-04-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well, Kai's cf appointment went good, then it went bad.....sort of.

Good news: Kai's lungs are clear and the remain clear! YAY! Praise God!
Good news: last visit in August Kai was in the 5Th percentile for weight...he is now....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....in the 95Th!! (I have been working my butt off to give him a butt!) All this on liquid nutritional supplements!

Bad news: Kai's pulmonary function test (pft) according to the Dr's is not good. It isn't where they want it to be. (Kai is unable to perform the test adequately or accurately so I personally think this may be incorrect.)

They want to start him on Pulmozyme. The pft is low enough to indicate there may be an obstruction so they want to use this special treatment to break up mucus in his lungs and have him cough it out.

Now that we have this huge gain in weight...they want to push regular food on him. Yep...you got it...Kai still doesn't eat regular foods like the rest of the family. So if we can get him to eat and use this weight cushion to get him to eat then we will be doing well all the way around. They think his not eating is behavioral. So they want him and me to see a behavioral specialist. Hmm...
So...it is no wonder I cannot pick this kid up anymore to put him in his own bed at night!!

Thank you God for continued health and for the advances in medicine today. I don't think Kai has the obstructive mucus in his lungs the Dr. thinks he does...but hey...I am just the mom right?

Righhhhhhht.

I am going to chat more with Dr's regarding this and see what the consensus is.

Thanks for reading and keep praying for Kai.

The walk is on May 2! Moonlight Beach.

Hugs!

Medical Humor...(or not) Irish Medical Dictionary

2010-03-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Why Irish? I don't know exactly but per a recently received email:
"The Irish have a low stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life."

Artery.................. The study of paintings
Bacteria.................Back door to cafeteria
Barium...................What doctors do when patients die
Benign....................What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section......A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan..................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize................Made eye contact with her
Colic......................A sheep dog
Coma.....................A punctuation mark
Dilate....................To live long
Enema....................Not a friend
Fester....................Quicker than someone else
Fibula.....................A small lie
Impotent.................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain..............Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff...........A Doctor's cane
Morbid....................A higher offer
Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates
Node......................I knew it
Outpatient................A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................Cousin to Elvis
Post Operative...........A letter carrier
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery
Rectum....................Nearly killed him
Secretion.................Hiding something
Seizure...................Roman emperor
Tablet....................A small table
Terminal Illness.........Getting sick at the airport
Tumour...................One plus one more
Urine.....................Opposite of you're out
2 x Condoms.............To be sure, to be sure

There's a Gazelle on the Lawn

2010-03-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

I love words.

I love word games.

I love word puzzles.

I love trivia related to words.

One of my favorite shows is A Way With Words.

Lets say you have a guest over for dinner and someone in your family has food on their face....a way to tell them is saying out loud "there is a gazelle on the lawn"...it draws attention away from the person with the food on their face and out to the lawn... or to you where your guest will think you just lost your marbles...obviously while searching for a gazelle.

The Blechs

2010-03-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

This week started off really rough.

Blindsided by a judge that has a heart for incompetent and fake fathers. Either that or his BS detector was forgotten at home that day.

I have been feeling kind of gross since Monday. I am not looking forward to the shift in the new custody order. I call it an order because it's definitely not an agreement.

I am strong. I know I will overcome this period of blechness.

A friend told me recently to put my energy toward thinking positive. Positive thoughts...think of what I want...and not what I don't want. Something about the universe hearing what you are putting out there. It doesn't catch the word don't though. For instance, "I don't want my boys to have overnight visits during the week with their bio-dad" is just saying "I WANT my boys....etc..." See what I am saying?

Instead of focusing on what I "don't" want....I will put my thoughts and energy into...

I want my sons to be happy.
I want my sons to be well taken care of.

My sons will be happy.
My sons will be well taken care of.
My sons will know that their mommy loves them with all her heart even if I am not physically there.

God is so good. He has really brought this for a reason. This is an answered prayer. It is. I am sure. I have been praying for my sons bio-dad to really be a better dad. To desire to spend more time with his sons. To be a more active parent. To not be so angry and mean with our eldest when he doesn't get homework right....or is just being a pubertal butt-head.

Judge ordered parenting classes for the dad...and once the classes are complete, he can have the increased parenting time and the decrease in child support.

I continue to pray for him. That he has asked for this for the right reasons. I want to believe he desires more time with his sons and not just the financial break he was seeking. But that would be most unwise for be to believe considering his history.

God will provide. God loves. God answers prayers.

New Biz

2010-02-03T15:43:00.000-08:00

I have loved the ambiance of candles for years.

These particular candles are so clean burning they do not smoke so NO SOOT...and they do not irritate K-mans lungs. He can't be around smoke or smokers...so this is a perfect match.

I am becoming a rep just to earn a little extra cash...and perhaps just provide myself with some candles to enjoy for myself since things have been so tight.

Its only a catalog party...so your presence is not required!

Jo Williams' personal website

Scientists Restore Some Function to Cells from Cystic Fibrosis Patients

2010-02-03T14:42:00.000-08:00

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091206162959.htm

Great news for our lil cf-er Kai!

I am so happy that the organization I contract for has a research institute and has the funding to work on such things as cystic fibrosis. When you think about it...the total number of Americans alone with this disease couldn't even fill up our local stadium.

There are an estimated 30,000 people in the US with cystic fibrosis.

Qualcomm Stadium = Baseball capacity: 67544 Football capacity: 60794
Petco Park = Baseball capacity: 46000
Dodgers Stadium = Baseball capacity: 56000

They couldn't even fill Fenway with the number.
Fenway = Baseball capacity: 34218

So, our little K-man who is our precious boy with cystic fibrosis is part of a swell little club.

If you get around to it...we are walking again this year for Kai. First Sunday in May. Save the date! If you can walk with us that would be great! If not, could you sponsor me?

Check our my page:
http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?walkid=6359&idUser=158911

Lots of love!
Michellene

Thankful

2010-02-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

Well, this year started off rough. Lost a dear aunt...well, I lost her the last 15 minutes of 2009...I am still a bit raw from that experience. Thankful I was able to spend time in Hawaii with her and her family for a few days. Loved that I could do some things for her before we said "See you Later."

I am writing this now because I have been on this tailspin into an abyss...of I guess without medications would probably be a major depressive episode...but isn't.

I have found out so many things about myself. I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for...and I am capable of love. Loving someone outside myself and outside my children.

Gods gifts indeed.

I have also found out so many areas that I am lacking which weigh heavily upon my heart. Especially when it hurts those around me. I haven't been very good at being a wife...in fact I think I have been pretty damned selfish. So focused on little things...or actually BIG things...like the bills and rent...that I forget to dole out the hugs and kisses that are needed to get us through the tougher spots in this life.

I haven't been a great mom. Sure I have done all K's treatments...taken him to all his appointments...made attempts at getting T's homework done...trying to give them both all the love and attention they so deserve. I miss the days when they would just snuggle in my bed and we would sleep in. I think we are over due for a sleep over.

I have let K keep a binky until he was 5...oh the horror of it all. Haven't forced him to eat real food because I have been so focused on making sure he has all the calories he possibly can have in one day just so he can keep growing. I have let T play video games and watch TV without making sure his homework is done and believing him when he says it is done...major major mistake. I have learned from that. I am thankful that he is growing... I am sad that his care consumes so much time than a healthy child...which takes away from T. I need some mommy and me time with him. He has been exhibiting symptoms of just missing and needing attention. So that I must and can fix.

I haven't been a great daughter...forgot to call my mom on her birthday despite the fact I told the kids ALL DAY that it was her birthday. I haven't called and seen them as much as I should. I really must spend more time with them...interacting. The kids need to see them...as do I.

I haven't been the best sister I can be. I haven't written or called and didn't attend a family get together....a birthday party for the twins because "I had to work." I put that in quotes...because it always seems to be where I am at or what I need to do when my kids need something or someone asks if I can be there for THEM.

At what point do I need to realize it isn't all about me but about giving back to others around me? The people that I love and cherish. Or "say" I do and don't show it.

I haven't been a good friend. I haven't been out to see Jen and Pete...I love them dearly and have yet to even send them a card or package to their new address. I still have a newborn outfit for Peter in a Christmas wrapping that should have been send 2 Christmas' ago and a glitter nail kit for Nadia...never sent. Then there is my beloveds Cs and B. They get the brunt of everything. They have both been my rock through my divorce. C has even taken my middle of the night phone calls from Hawaii just to talk me through a very horrible day despite having to get up for work at the butt crack of dawn. Sure, she has her phone not accept messages...which drives me insane...but she calls back when she sees that I have called. I do that for her too...I even pick up her calls when I am at work. I think she and my mom & dad are the only ones I do that for. Yet, my tone with all of them...has been short. I am stressed to the seams. Can't see the forest for the trees. I have been just trying to get through each day without crying...so instead I bite someones head off. Usually C's or B's. For that I am sorry. It's like I am stuck...in this place...where I want to embrace those around me...but want to just crawl under a rock and just shut everyone out. But because I know these people around me love me...I don't.

My mom has told me several times (you would think I would get the hint) that if I am busy...just say so...just a quick..."Hey I really want to talk to you...but I am so swamped can I call you later" will be nice instead of feeling like I am being put out by answering the phone.

I am sorry. I am so sorry for all of my inadequacies. So sorry I am falling short in so many places. I am asking God to help...um duh he already is...because my binky-free 5 year old just leaned over to tell me "Mommy, I love you. I love you so much." And here I thought he would hate me for the rest of his life for "donating" his beloved binky to another baby that needs it.

Bottom line is...I have been taking my stress out on everyone because despite the size of my body habitus...I simply cannot fit anymore in here. I am filled to the brim with this crap...and that made my emotional "tank" so small it is always on "E". I feel as if I am just giving giving giving...and I just can't give anymore. I am just drowning.

Drowning in fear...Fear of yet more failures...failure of going to jail for not paying taxes for an ex that's got his own issues. Yet here I find myself sucking at yet another job...accounting. That used to be the "ex's" job...and he sucked at it too I just didn't know it till just before I left...so I am holding the bag of doo-doo that is left behind. Back taxes...already had letters talking about taking money out of my accounts...I am always needing just a little more for gas in the gas tank...even needing to create a note book of IOU's to the kids for their allowance...I think I am three months behind now on that.

Then I have the ex that is suing for custody yet again...for the children...just so he can get out of paying support. All of these things he will use against me...T not doing so great in school...K's teeth needing attention yet he will let NO ONE near his mouth...if you do get close...he is likely to require you to need a change of clothes.

I feel horrible for it all. I am sorry for lashing out at those around me. I am thankful that C had the balls to tell me. That she loved me more than I will ever know, that she felt comfortable to text me that I am falling short. Which means if I am falling short with all these things I am falling short with God. He put C as my angel to do a virtual shaken baby routine with me via the phone. Yep. I think it worked...because I am just shaken up.

I know He will forgive me...I just need to ask. I just hope to have the forgiveness of all those around me. I am sucking at being a person right now...and I am the only one that can take the steps to change that.

I have been so bitter. So angry...I think because of my choices...which were mostly not bad. Just having a heck of time trying to make adjustments. Family and C have reassured me that leaving an abusive situation was smart...and that it is all an adjustment. I am still working through it...and with the grace of God...I will survive without any cerebral or retinal hemorrhaging from all the shaking.

So, I am thankful for my family that loves me unconditionally...my kids that love me just because I breathe (and that is mutual) and for C...that loved me enough to tell me. No she isn't mean.....she was just keeping it real...keeping it 100.

For the love of Michellene.

Blessed with Another Year! Kai is FIVE!

2010-01-28T11:10:00.001-08:00

Five years ago, I delivered a gorgeous healthy baby boy. So I thought. A couple days after birth, realizing something wasn't right...he was rushed off to Children's Hospital in San Diego.

There, diagnoses were thrown at me...my head swimming...knowing what the outcome of every disease mentioned was...none of them good. One stuck out...and surely Kai could not have this disease...he isn't but a pinch Caucasian...as this particular disease predominantly impacts Caucasians....doesn't matter any more...not this day in age.

What? Cystic fibrosis? NO WAY. Not our little Korean-Native American-Mexican-Black-Irish baby. Shuh... Whatever!

Well, blood tests showed that he has cystic fibrosis.

I knew my life was going to change with the addition of a little baby...having already had one...adding another to an already strained marriage was surely going to be life changing. I had NO IDEA just how much.

Therapies, nebulizer treatments, medications with every meal, weekly visits with Miss Lisa at occupational therapy(for over 3 years now!), and hand sanitizer up the wazoo...well, it's all normal now. Normal for us. Normal for Kai. Normal for a family with a little guy with cf. I realize that every day is a blessing...each and every breath is a gift from God...each smile...each I love you...every tantrum...all gifts.

A little over a decade ago...children with cf were not even living long enough to get to grade school. Kai is in pre-K. He will start kindergarten in the fall. Praise the Lord!

Advances in medicine have raised the bar and along with it the median age for life expectancy...we are almost at 37 years old I believe. So, with continued advances in medicine and better therapies...Kai is gonna make it to be older than his old-lady mom is now.

I am so grateful for another year with this baby boy. I should say BIG boy. Kai has given up his beloved binkies to a baby named Lucas. Since Lucas is a baby and needs them more than Kai does. Also he started (just last night) drinking his high calorie formula from a straw instead of a bottle! This is HUGE. This was mostly out of necessity since his front teeth are causing him pain. Why? Not from decay said the dentist but because his BIG BOY teeth are already coming in early. Too early...but at least we know the teeth are loose because of that and not because his teeth are rotting out of his head.

Thank you God for another year of oral aversions...all the gagging and the refusal of solid foods...thank you for always providing the finances to afford to not-so-cheap high calorie formula...thank you for providing for his expensive Dr. visits and medicines...thank you for my delightful sometime pain the butt son Kai. Thank you for his continued health. Thank you for an extended family of loved ones that care so much about him and his well-being. He is a blessing. I love him so much and thank you for another year.

Please join me in wishing Kai a very happy birthday.

Happy Birthday BIG BOY Kai. You are such a wonderful gift from heaven and God is going to always be with us carrying us through the toughest times and holding our hands and hugging us through every good time.

I love you son.

Love,
Mommy

Eviction Notices

2009-12-18T22:36:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time...a young woman(me) was fretting over something trivial. So trivial in fact, I can't recall the exact circumstances but I do recall sharing it with my Auntie Linda. She was being a very good listener. She gave me some advice I carry around with me to this very day. She told me, "Don't let anyone live rent free in your head." Hmmm. Sit back for a moment. Let it really sink in. What are those things you are carrying around with you and dwelling on that really don't make a difference either way except that they are taking up precious time and space in your head? Time and space that you can be using to reach out to a loved one and just say I love you...or making a card...paying a bill...reading a book...you name it...

If I am thinking about someone or something...and it's not paying rent... it's getting evicted.

So eviction notices are going out tonight on several things. I am tired of all these people and things just squatting in my head. Pay up or shut up. So there! lol Pfffft!

I love Apple

2009-11-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

There are so many things lacking today. Customer service for one has really taken a nose dive with the economy. That's not the case with Apple.

I bought a used 160GB iPod from a dear friend. She was going on a trip to Israel and needed the spending money. I purchased it and it was packed full of different music genres that I may not have tried out otherwise.

About a month ago, I had received a sample of a hair product for Troi. That was in my purse with my iPod. Can you tell this is not going so good right? Well, the product leaked in the docking part of my iPod. So sad indeed.

I cleaned it up...and it seemed to be working just fine. I breathed a huge sigh of relief...since I can't afford to replace it. Two nights ago I was trying to play a movie on it via a Monster cable attached to the TV. My iPod just shot off and got really hot. I packed it up in it's original packaging and slipped it into it's snug box - manual included and decided to see about a repair.

I made an appointment for the next day to see someone at the Genius Bar. I begged them to use a defibrillator or just anything to get it to come to life again. They tried everything to no avail. It remained dead. The young man could see my sadness. Especially when he had to share with me that it is out of warranty. I sighed and was ready to provide my iPod with a proper burial or perhaps use it as a paper weight. He then said, "Well it it evident you take really good care of it and the battery overheated and fried everything inside. So I am going to take care of it for you." I thought wow...a repair...sweet. He then said they will just replace the one I have. I am sure it's a refurb but it's better than not having one at all or having just a very once-expensive paperweight.

Gotta love Apple.

My next computer endeavor is a Mac. Handsdown.

How to Display the American Flag

2009-07-19T20:45:00.001-07:00

I had to post this because I had seen a car in my area that was displaying the American flag on the bumper.

It didn't look right, so I posted the photo on Facebook and had some comments.

I thought it was wrong.

While link doesn't address "bumper sticker" display rules, it did confirm many things I knew already about the flag.

Check it out.

http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagetiq.html

Breaking Dawn: The Game

2009-07-14T01:17:00.001-07:00

I just had fun with this. I am addicted to the entire Twilight series!

Breaking Dawn: The Game

Shared via AddThis

Made to Love

2009-07-01T16:08:00.001-07:00

I am in love with this song....It's by Toby Mac and it just sings in my heart.

The dream is fading, now
I'm staring at the doorI know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection,
I ain't feelin what I see
It's no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...

I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me
I was made to love and be loved by you

The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide
Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin vapors on my dreams
But I still believe
I'm reachin out, reachin up, reachin over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way
Cause I was made to love...

I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me
I was made to love and be loved by you

Happy Anniversary! Another Year! Walking for Curing Cystic Fibrosis!

2009-03-04T23:33:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends, Family, and respected Colleagues,

It's that time of year again! The time of year that marks another year that we walk for Kai and the thousands of other with this genetic disease. Kai has cystic fibrosis. He is 4 now and is a loving, caring, bundle of joy. He enjoys picking on his big brother Troi (11). He loves imitating and mimicking everything he sees and hears. Kai attends school in the Poway school district special education program working on gross motor skills and his speech.

Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a devastating genetic disease that affects tens of thousands of children and young adults in the United States. Research and care supported by the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is making a huge difference in extending the quality of life for those with CF. However, we continue to lose precious lives to CF every day. That's why your help is needed now more than ever to ensure that a cure is found sooner - rather than later. To learn more about CF and the CF Foundation, visit www.cff.org.

CF has mostly impacted Kai's digestive system. Because of this, Kai takes 8-10 pills per day. These pills are filled with the digestive enzymes he needs to digest the foods he eats. They are required with each and every meal or snack. He doesn't object because that's just his "norm". Kai now has The Vest. He calls it "the Jack" which is short for jacket. "The Jack" is one therapy that Kai does twice per day for 20 minutes each time. The vest (Jack) fills with air and then the machine it's connected to vibrates the air providing the percussive pressure neede to loosen up any mucus in Kai's lungs. Kai does his therapies in the morning and evening. His therapies consists of "Jack" and TOBI. TOBI is an inhaled antibiotic to combat a bacteria that keeps lurking in Kai's lungs. This bacteria is Pseudomonas aeruginosa and can really cause serious problems for Kai if it should get out of control. This is the bacteria that destroys the healthy lung tissue resulting in decreased lung function.

So, because of this precious little man, his family and friends walk GREAT STRIDES. They have done this every year since the year he was born. With your help we have received thousands of dollars in donations! We thank you for your continued support. EVERY little bit helps. So, please sponsor our walk again this year if you are in a position to do so. If not, walk with us. If you can't walk, pray for continued health and resources for Kai's care.

GREAT STRIDES is the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's largest and most successful national fund-raising event. This year, I'm walking in the GREAT STRIDES walk at the 2009 Carlsbad - Cannon Park walk on 05/17/2009. Please help me meet my fund-raising goal of $3,000.00 by sponsoring me.

Your generous gift will be used efficiently and effectively, as more than $0.88 out of every dollar you contribute will be used to fund the vital programs of the CF Foundation.

Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click the "Click to Donate" button on this page to go to make a donation that will be credited to my team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated!

Together, we can make a difference in the lives of those with CF! Thank you for supporting the mission of the CF Foundation and GREAT STRIDES!
Below is a list of donors who have donated to support me. Thanks to everyone for your support!

Be the first one! Click Here to donate.

Team fund-raising goal:
$5,000.00
Money raised to date:
$0.00

Go McCain?

2008-10-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Thank you Cheryl for sending this to me! It's the funniest damned thing.

Basically it says get your butt out there and vote...

It's also saying vote Obama...which I am not going to do.

But it's funny all the same!!

http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/index.html?nid=8UZ340XDBLtt9l.gIActETQxNTY3MzU-&referred_by=11347962-H3GKuNx

Growing Pains (In the ARSE) - Ugh

2008-08-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Wow. How do you know when a young person is ready for added responsibility? Do they take their chores seriously or do they slack and not follow through?

I am a delighted mother of 2 boys. 10 and 3 years old...the ten year old is itching for independence. At first I thought I was the one that wasn't ready for such independence...but today clearly shouted out that he isn't either.

I have arranged for after school care complete with transportation for the 2 hours (give or take) after school that corresponds with me getting off work, picking up the youngest and then getting the oldest.

Today, Mr. 10 decides that he isn't going to take the transportation and head on home so he can hang with his friends. Mom drives to the after school site and no one has seen Mr. 10 and verified he never got on the bus. (He claims to have forgotten that he needed to get on said transportation...)

After driving home, checking neighbors, calling the sheriff...he rides up on his bike with one of his buddies. I wanted to hug and kiss him and beat the living daylights out of him all in the same momentary emotion. I chose to hug him. I called his Dad...since we are co-parenting now and we handled this in an impressive way. We agreed on the punishment and actually talked like civilized adults. (Knowing full well he is blaming me for this the whole way...but that's another blog!)

I explained to Mr. 10 about the dangers that are out there when Mom and Dad are not around and shared with him my understanding that he wants more independence but he must realize the boundaries that exists for his protection. (That went over like a fart in an elevator let me tell you!) Um, I am talking to a 5Th grader now...and don't you know...you and I are not smarter than 5Th graders...sh uh....

Crisis is over and I am sipping on a yummy beverage whilst Mr. 10 is cleaning his room and occasionally popping up here to my room to verify said terms of punishment. No you can't play outside, no you can't watch TV even if it's with your brother, yes you can read, yes you can do math, no you can't ride your bike by yourself, no you can have no friends over...for ONE WEEK. That means next Friday night when Dad's parenting time begins.

So there.

CA State Budget Woes and Your Medical Care

2008-07-01T21:32:00.001-07:00

This may not seem like a big deal to some...but it is to me. California hospitals and their fiscal wellness are my bread and butter. I own my own Medical Coding and Auditing company in Southern California. While my work keeps me very busy, hospitals just can't survive more budget cuts. I received this today in my corporate email:

Today is July 1, and the new state fiscal year has started without a state budget. There is little expectation that we will have a budget soon. As the deliberations continue, the proposed 10% cut for hospitals and health care spending remains part of the package. The severe budget cuts increase the number of uninsured patients in California’s already overcrowded and overburdened hospital emergency rooms. The result would be longer wait times and higher health care costs for everyone.

If you've been watching television this week, you might have noticed a new a campaign supporting California's hospitals. The ads are part of the California Hospital Association's (CHA) ongoing public advocacy effort to stop $1.5 billion in cuts to Medi-Cal, CHA is launching an aggressive statewide advertising campaign -- SaveMyEmergencyRoom.com. This call-to-action campaign features a 30-second television commercial, supporting print ads and a website at SaveMyEmergencyRoom.com.

If the cuts are not restored, Scripps Health could lose $2.3 million, severely impacting Scripps Mercy Hospital's two campuses.

The goal of the campaign is to educate voters and stakeholders; build a coalition of support; and mobilize that support with a call-to-action to stop the cuts by signing a petition to the governor and e-mailing letters to legislators.

The television ad began airing June 24 with print ads also appearing over the next couple of weeks in newspapers around the state, including the San Diego Union Tribune. The ads will direct viewers to the new advocacy website to view a list of hospitals in their area impacted by the cuts, sign a petition to the governor, and e-mail advocacy letters to legislators. To lend your support to the effort, visit https://mail.scripps.org/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.savemyemergencyroom.com and encourage others to do the same.

***
If you have a moment to particpate, I would appreciate it.

Thanks,
Michellene

Parents Job Description

2008-07-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

This isn't mine, I didn't write it but am glad someone did.

If this was provided to me before I had children, I would have still signed up! I love my boys. They are my loves, my life and my heroes.

*****

PARENT

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekend s and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** AND A FOOTNOTE **

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!**

If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents.

AND YOU MAY HAVE TO RAISE THEM TOO!!!

Ten Ways To Sunday

2007-12-29T00:25:00.001-08:00

Well, today, the soreness has hit me like a ton of bricks. I went skating today with my dear friend Cheryl. She loves skating. I told her about the Derby Dolls and she is so excited to be attending Boot Camp with me next week. She is going to get her skates out of storage and will be with me.

I had a blast skating around with her. She didn't fall at all...I was taken out by a 9 year old kid! He came out of no where and just took my legs out. I landed on one knee and would have been better prepared had I kept my gear on. I had skated about an hour all padded up...and then the elbow pads were fighting with my sweater. So I took it all off.

Just to be slammed to my knees by a kid! I pray I get better soon.

I enjoyed watching the jam skaters out in the middle of the floor. Their smooth moves to the beats of each song really motivate me to skate more. I hope someday I can just stay on top of my skates and not on top of the floor.

I need a hot bath and some muscle relaxers...

Cheryl said the whole thing today had her laughing ten ways to sunday. She's so crazy. Can't wait to skate with her again.

Counting Boards

2007-12-28T02:00:00.000-08:00

Learning how to skate again has its challenges. First, you must find balance. Everything that you do in derby hinges on balance and angles. I have a handle on NEITHER of those concepts. I feel so much like a new pony...finding its legs. I imagine it's quite a comical sight to see. Wish it was as comical to FEEL.

Today's boot camp...well...was very fun...very tiring...I am pooped out. They tried to teach me how to fall...but overall...I think the falling taught me. My ass is killing me!

We skated various drills up and down the length of the rink. I feel often..but kept getting up for more. Considering that was only the 2nd time that I have been to Boot Camp...I thought I did really well. I sure as hell am tired of eating shit.

The coach was kind enough to tell me I did a great job at picking myself up and moving on. He believes in me. He believes I will get it. I KNOW I will! I refuse to get my ass kicked by a pair of skates.

Wowee Zowee

2007-12-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

Been over two months since my last post. So much has transpired since then I don't even know where to start.

My wish to post more just didn't pan out for me.

My sister got married on Dec. 9! She's married to a wonderful man and the wedding itself was just simple, lovely and just amazing. Congratulations Kristen and David!!

I filed for divorce at the beginning of this month. I had to face a lot of things. Why I got married, why I was staying married and it just wasn't fair to anyone. While I know that the vows you take are really supposed to be forever...just some things don't work out the way you planned. We all deserve love and respect.

I haven't had the drive to do any of the things I used to. I haven't been into any of my scrapbooks. I hope to be doing that again soon. As soon as I figure things out. I know that this new year is going to be bigger, better, and brighter.

New hobby? I have been frequenting a restaurant near work...to just chill and surf online... I met a wonderful friend. Siobhan is the evening manager there. She and I talk and share stories. She shared with me that I should get out and exercise...I should get out and do something. Well I know that. I am heavier than I have ever been in my life and feel it! She was gone for a few days...and I asked where she had been...she was in Sacramento...skating.

I had always loved roller skating as a kid. Thought it was so much fun and would skate in circles on the concrete slab in the backyard...and up and down the sidewalks...went from metal wheeled skates...to polyurethane ones...then I just stopped. Guess I just outgrew it. Well...Siobhan has introduced me to something fun! I have only been a few times...and I love it! I will be attending lessons/training every Monday and Thursday. I want to be a San Diego Derby Doll.

WTF!?

Yep. Roller Derby. Now that you have found your seat and pulled your jaw up off the floor...you have to get that old Thunderbirds picture out of your head. It's not like that anymore. So no worries...I won't be losing teeth or hair anytime soon...not from derby anyway. I know you are shocked. Hold up a minute though. It's excellent exercise and man I feel it in my muscles already!! First night....my hips were killing me. I thought I would need hip replacements. The very next night I decided to go and skate anyway. I am not as sore and basically and a little better on my skates. I look something like a newborn foal. Still finding my legs! I can't wait to get good.

I am looking forward to getting into shape and getting good on my skates!

Keep you posted on my progress!

Save our kids!

2007-10-17T23:27:00.000-07:00

Our California Governor just signed Senate Bill 777 into law. Beginning Jan. 1, 2008 the state of California will be impacted so deeply by this bill and not in a good way. The new law has many points of interest for those of you who have kids still in grade school - such as myself.

Just a few things that stick in my head are:

References of marriage between a man and woman are not allowed to be used in class without offering like definitions for male/male or female/female partnerships.
References to "Mom and Dad" will not be allowed to be used unless like definitions are provided in the curriculum.
If your child feels that they were born the wrong sex, they can state that they belong to the opposite gender and have equal access to that restroom or locker room. For example, if my son decided that he wants to be a cross dresser then the school will have to accommodate him by allowing him to use the ladies restrooms and the ladies locker rooms. School will be required to have gender-neutral locker rooms.
No more prom king and queen in the traditional sense. A boy can be the prom queen and a girl can be a prom king.
If our child has a gay teacher or transgender teacher we will not be allowed to express our beliefs or opinions. Not even to say we disagree with the situation lest it be considered harassment punishable by law. Our children will not be allowed to express a difference of opinion regarding gay or transgender teachers.
Alternative lifestyles will now be in the forefront of our kids education.

I am not anti-gay. I am not anti-transgender. I do not however wish for transgender, gay or bisexuality to be forced into the impressionable minds of my kids. I wish to bring them up in a home where they have a mother and a father.

This bill was signed by the governor without hearing from you and me. THE PEOPLE. I think we as a society should vote on such delicate topics. Especially when it comes to what our children are going to be taught in school.

I have always been an advocate for public schools. I have been of the opinion that our public schools are what we make them to be. So I have participated in classroom activities, purchased needed supplies for my sons class and made sure if there was a need, the need was met.

This law is making me think twice about keeping my son in public school. He will be taught things that while I do not believe is right, doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Some may think of it as a cop-out. I am not one to judge anyone based on their sexual orientation. I will be first to tell you I have just about done everything but died so I am the last to tell another person how to live. I do however want to my kids to be taught in their own time, in their own home about the ways of some peoples world.

Clicking on the link above will take you to the website where you can sign up and have petitions mailed to you when they become available. I want to encourage each and everyone of you to sign it. I want the people of California to have a say in this. If the people want this law, then let them be the deciding factors. Not a legislator with an agenda.

You choose. You as a voter, a parent, a person - gay or straight. Speak up and let's send a message to the Governor that he can't just pass a law like this without hearing from the very people who will have to abide by it.

However you vote - let your voice be heard and encourage others around you to do the same. Take it to work, take it to church, take it to family and friends...take it to the people. Let's do this!

The website is http://saveourkids.net/ check it out if you get a chance.

Ooops!

2007-10-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, my own mother fired me after a major technology faux pas on my part. Yes, I fumbled the ball. But all was not lost.

After working crazy insane hours and earning some extra cash, I wanted to do something special just for me. So, I discussed with my spouse the prospect of me buying a new notebook. Mind you when I asked the question, I got the answer in the form of a question, "What kind of notebook costs that much money?" Well, the super special kind my dear.

After some bargaining I was able to secure my new Toshiba notebook from Fry's. I got it for a song. It has the processor I want, the RAM I want and the price I really wanted. When I got home, started moving in, I realized that the hard drive was too small.

I take so many photos and have plans for this notebook and realized this was not going to work. So I set myself to use an external portable hard drive. Well, after much comtemplation and some discussions with my mom (the one where she fired me from making any techie purchases for her - he he) I decided on Monday I would return the computer to Fry's. First thought was I will just have them put a bigger hard drive in it. I wanted 160GB and well, that was going to cost $349 and would not be covered under the extended warranty I paid for.

So, the sales guy from computers (Brett) was so kind in telling me I would be better off getting a new one. I wasn't charged a re-stocking fee and left the store with something better than what I wanted. So, for $250 mores than the original purchase price I am sporting a super cool Sony Vaio notebook that has already enabled me to write to you while in one of my favorite eating venues - Panera. Mind you, I should be scarfing down my food so I can get to work. But this is so much more fun!!

Just the prospect of being able to load photos, edit them, post them etc...oh yah, and work is a plus too...well, hey, that just makes my day.

Let me finish my soup before it gets cold and hit to road and get my booty to work before someone REALLY fires me!

xoxo

Dollars for Dancing

2007-10-10T18:14:00.001-07:00

My young mother Julie is having another birthday (thank God) on 10/20. She is participating in a Dance-a-Thon in Los Angeles to raise money for the arts.

Why you ask? (grin)

Well, her words are:

"Why, you ask? Because I still can! It's a birthday present to myself! October
20th is my birthday and I signed up to participate in Active Arts at the Music
Center's first annual fundraiser A Taste of Dance-A-Thon! Active Arts is a
series of admission-free to low cost events for the artist in everyone. For more
information on Active Arts please visit http://musiccenter.org/activearts.html."

Won't you share in celebrating her birthday with me by donating a few bucks? Her goal is a whopping $200 dollars. I would like to see her meet AND exceed this goal. Because she is...all that and a pair of comfy dancing shoes (instead of the bag of chips...he he he).

Just click on the title and off you go to read more about why she's dancing (why...because she can) and help keep the arts alive in Los Angeles.

Love you!
Michellene

Geocaching?

2007-10-09T23:43:00.000-07:00

My sister Kristen recently visited Wisconsin. She and her fiance shared a nice vacation there with his family. She posted photos on her Facebook site (cool place once you can get in) and let me tell you, I was feeling pretty stupid when I came across photos about their Geocaching adventure.

My first thought was hmm...they are playing with GPS? Since her fiance was holding a GPS device in one of his hands...so I guess my first instinct was so far off from the truth.

Folks, there another world out there. It's an high tech treasure hunt and boy I think I have found a new obsession. (And I don't even have GPS....YET!)

Utilizing GPS and given coordinates you locate hidden treasures, sometimes just a log book but basically if you take something you leave something. But you have to be able to use GPS and your brains to locate it.

Oh boy....I so want to play this game...I am thinking I can do a scrapbooking geocache...or hmm...a cystic fibrosis awareness cache...or hmm...just a cache to have a darn cache...

I can't wait to find out more about this so I can get involved!!

Prayers for Jude

2007-10-09T00:13:00.000-07:00

You know I have never met Jude or his Mommy and Daddy. But I recently read a note on Facebook posted by my sisters fiance David. It touched me so deeply.

Here's the note:

Dear Friends,We are saddened to update you with the news that Jude has been diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis (www.tsalliance.org). Over the last two days we have learned that Jude has tubers (benign tumors) on his brain which have been causing his seizures. He also has a couple of tumors on his heart, and we're waiting to hear news on his kidneys as well as other body organs. The prognosis for TS is hard to predict because the outcome varies so greatly from child to child. It will be several years before we will have a better idea of what this means for Jude's cognitive development and overall health.

Jude is still on the steroid ACTH which has allowed him to be seizure free for the past 9 days. We are praising God for this fact! However, he is NOT sleeping and grumpy for at least 20 hours each day...which of course is exhausting and very hard to watch as we feel so helpless. Needless to say, this has been the hardest week of our lives. We are now taking proactive steps to care for little Jude as best we can. Monday we will meet with his new doctors at UCLA which has a fantastic Pediatric Neurology department. With this sudden life change, we have come to the decision that we need to simplify our lives, so that we can best take care of Jude. For this reason we will be selling our condo as well as our car. We just don't need these extra financial burdens right now. Many of you have been incredibly gracious in your offers to help in some tangible way. We are humbled by these offers and we have identified some practical ways you could help if you're so inclined. Truthfully, your prayers mean most and we are grateful for your continued support in this way! Here are some of the needs...The stairwell in our house needs to be painted as well as our master bedroom (and some touch up paint around the house) to help prepare the house to sell as quickly as possible.We need someone to clean the house weekly while we try to sell the house. The multiple Dr. appointments and Jude’s sleep schedule or lack thereof :) make it virtually impossible to stay on top of this. People to help us pack items we wont need while trying to sell the house. (china, books, odds and ends).Any help marketing our house. Here is a link with the info on it.... http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/rfs/439540177.htmlWe continue to be comforted and amazed by your incredible love, support, and prayers during these difficult days. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.Love, Seth and VanessaLove... “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” I Corinthians 13:7

Please extend prayers for this family.

What to say....

2007-09-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

I have been telling myself on a consistent basis that I have to sit and write more. I need to get these thoughts out of my head and into the blog.

I have been working too much. With the fiscal year at the facilities I contract at coming to a close, I am busier than ever. Of course I have to take advantage of that. My work as a consultant is cyclic and I must prepare for any downtime I may have. The last 3 weeks thought I haven't had any down time to speak of.

Which got me thinking about some not-s0-profound things, but got me thinking none the less.

The tooth fairy forgot to come the other night. Yep. FORGOT. This is a fundamental no-no in my book. In our electronic age, I tried to explain to my nine year old that perhaps the tooth fairy didn't get my email...or with the unusually moist climate the last few nights, maybe the tooth fairy didn't want to chance getting stuck in a storm. Well, bottom line is...the tooth fell out that day and daddy forgot to tell mommy so mommy could make sure that the tooth fairy came.

*sigh*

To make up, the tooth fairy left a hand made card and wrote a note to Troi that she/he was sorry about missing. The last few days have been unusually busy and that she/he was "swamped". To make up, she/he left TEN dollars!

So, this morning I was informed that the tooth fairy did not forget again and that a note was left. As Troi shared the note with me, he made sure I knew that the tooth fairy was stuck in a swamp so she/he could not get out to take care of business.

I think I have saved a believer.

Phew- that was a close one!

This brings to mind the numerous times I tried to earn extra cash by making paper mache teeth, cutting small pieces of paper into tooth shapes, even taking small stones that looked like teeth and putting them under my pillow. I never was able to fool the tooth fairy into leaving me any cash. I was however afraid that when I actually left a "real" tooth that I would get overlooked. After all, isn't that the moral of the story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?

Never in those futile attempts at fooling the fairy did I ever think that there wasn't a fairy. I just figured she was damned smart to not be fooled by me.

Here's to hoping that Troi's teeth never get overlooked again and that the busy schedule the Tooth Fairy is keeping eases up a little. Like me, she/he has probably worked 3 weeks straight with no day off. *sigh*

Oh, the tooth fairy also signed the note "Love, T.F." Which Troi lovingly thought meant "Troi F." ha ha ha. I said no, I think it means Tooth Fairy. Isn't that cool that they have the same initials?!?

I thought so.

What's in a name?

2007-09-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

Venezuela is about to slam the door shut on families desiring a unique name for their child. The article I just read today in the International Herald Tribune states this:

"So long Hengelberth, Maolenin, Kerbert Krishnamerk, Githanjaly, Yornaichel, Nixon and Yurbiladyberth. The prolifically inventive world of Venezuelan baby names may be coming to an end."

"If electoral officials here get their way, a bill introduced last week would prohibit Venezuelan parents from bestowing those names, and many, many others, on their children."

I am in a state of shock at this moment. I am just stunned that a
government could impose such rules upon it's people. The proposed rule would
limit the number of names to 100.

Imagine for one moment, that only 100
names were allowed to be used for naming a baby born in the US.

Shocking huh?

Who would decide what names made the cut? How would they decide a
name would make the list?

I thank GOD my family had the freedom to name me MICHELLENE.

I thank GOD that I had the freedom to name my kids their quirky
names.

I hope the Venezuelan electoral officials pull their heads out of
their asses and look into their names...where they came from and how they
were chosen for them. Or is that how they will decide upon the
"100"?

Product of Environment?

2007-09-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

I read a story in the UT yesterday about 2 teens that are charged with the murder of a police officer.

The article basically said that these kids are the product of their environment. Growing up in a bad neighborhood has resulted in this act of horrible violence against another. The kids' familial influences from family members (encarcerated or gang affiliated) - resulted in this.

It got me thinking about where I live now. How will my kids maintain being the wonderful people they are now? Are my kids influenced by their environment?

I think if that is the case, am I leading them to be antisocial? I don't socialize with my neighbors. I don't visit or hang out, or even call any of my neighbors. I have a select number of friends. We visit each other or meet for coffee. We see each other on special occasions like holidays and birthdays. Will this antisocial attitude adversely impact my kids' psyche and turn them into gun-toting schoolers? I hope not. I want them to have friends and be confident that they are loved and that others love them too.

So, what do you do dear reader to socialize impressionable individuals?

Hot hot hot!!

2007-09-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Damn. This weather is insane. I visited Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago for a coding seminar and I believe I had a stow-away. THIS WEATHER.

I am hypersensitive to temperature. I can admit it. Being my age and so close to that dreaded menopause....(damn damn damn) I am sure that much of this is hormonally driven in my case.

Anyway...I think about my little man Kai. How he is not hypersensitive to heat. He doesn't let anything phase him. Yet, this kid is not allowed to sweat. No- not that he "can't sweat". But more of he should be kept cool and sweat free so he doesn't lose the salt in his body. That damned cystic fibrosis is the problem there.

What about that anyway? When there is an energy crisis going down in your part of town...what do you do to stay cool? Where does one go to avoid overheating and melting into oblivion?

I have had to think about back up plans...you know the what if the power goes out and Kai needs coolness.

Well, I think first of a store or mall. Groceries anyone? Macy's? Then maybe a school or library...and perhaps a last ditch resort would be a hospital.

We do have a prescription for air conditioning for Kai to be kept cool. SDG&E doesn't give us a discount but we avoid the highest tier for energy usage...all to stay cool.

I am glad I work in a hospital. I am glad I don't have to worry about losing salt...but darn the little things that just get me thinking...

I hope you all out there stay cool and find some shade.

I am sticking with Kai...since he HAS to stay cool...mom can too!

Mirror, Mirror

2007-08-12T19:03:00.000-07:00

Just started reading this book. It's very interesting and by the title you can already see in your minds eye, this must have something to do with Snow White.

You're right!

Mark Maguire spins a tall of intrigue surrounding the fairy tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

I am only 1/4 through it. It's a good read so far but with my limited vocabulary I am having to look up works such as aerie. Well do you know what it is? I sure didn't!

The Notebook

2007-08-05T23:06:00.001-07:00

After a short reprieve it is obvious that I am back to posting. Phew! My little break was just that...a break. There's been so much going on in my life that I wasn't making any time to post or to even put my never ending thoughts into view.

Sometimes something profound pops into my head and I ponder it...mull it over in my noggin for what may seem like a rather lengthy time...only to realize that it was just the 45 minute drive to work...then I step into work mode and forget the very thing I was mulling. So, just so I don't forget I have decided to keep a notebook.

You know, these thoughts are not the only things I have been forgetting. I cannot tell you how many places I have lost my keys. No, I am not talking about the house, the couch, the desk at home...I am talking about leaving them at the counter at the pharmacy, between cameras at Target, at the cashiers register at Starbucks, and again at Target. So, if thoughts were the only thing I was losing, well that would be great...lets just hope I don't lose my kids somewhere!!

Confessions...

2007-08-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

Not my confessions but rather a book I am reading. After completing the last Harry Potter book I have devoured a couple more books. I had a momentary lapse of memory...recalling that yes, this wife, mom of 2, busy as hell woman...loves to read!!

My current book is Confessions of an Ugly Step-Sister by McGuire.

I have to say, I am very please with this book. There are several words that I am forced to look up (they escape me now) but overall this book is a very good read. It's written in one of the voice of one of Cinderella's ugly step-sisters. You'd be surprised that things are not always what they seem.

How did Cinderella become the woman she became...and is there really a "happily ever after"?

Read to find out more.

Fly or Drive?

2007-08-03T00:48:00.000-07:00

I am going to a Achieving Coding Excellence meeting in Las Vegas this month. Been turning over some things in my head trying to decide if I should fly or drive. Came across this interesting tool.

I needed to know about how much it was going to cost me (fuel wise) to go to LV. Well click the title and it will take you to AAA's answer to my question. Mind you, this has so many other factors to play into it. I mean, I was born with a genetic defect. Pedal Leadosis (aka Lead Foot) so I am sure that is going to drive my fuel costs through the roof!

Just thought I would share it!
I will post about my decision once it's made. It's leaning toward driving though for sure. The round trip costs are 218+ for the 1 hour flight. The last time I flew, I didn't get there any sooner either. I got there just in time for my husband (who drove) to pick me up. It did however save me a considerable amount of aggravation trying to take a 1 year old on a long drive.

I am going sans familia this time so I will just have to decide which will be better.

What say you dear reader?

Happy Birthday to ME!

2007-04-21T22:35:00.001-07:00

IMG_2306
Originally uploaded by cf.sucks.

Wow! Another year! Today I celebrate the 8th anniversary of my 29th birthday!!

This is my Dad, Mom, sister Esther, and baby brother Stephen...my two sons and well, ME!

My brother is busting up because I nearly fell over that armchair and took down the drapes to get beside him before the timer flipped the switch. I am lucky I didn't take down the entire group!

You know I realized something today I was filing through my photos...most of them digital since getting to the print ones is just too time consuming. Well, I began to wonder why I take so many pictures. Why? What is the reason for it? Some of my friends just think I am nucking futs. But you know what...it says I have been here. I was there. I seen this or that....I was. I am.

Cool huh?

So here I am. I was here...on April 21, 2007. I was home with my family sharing a quiet evening in. One where my 2 year doesn't upset the the earths rotation on it's axis or that of anyone else axis for that matter.

I was here.
I saw.

I am.

R.I.P - Don Ho

2007-04-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Better late than never.

The post that is.

Narry a party goes on, with my uncle Joaquin involved, when the song Tiny Bubbles isn't played.

I didn't own any albums by Don Ho. Don't have any of his tunes on my iPod. But I do have fond memories of the man and his music.

Rest in Peace Don.

Orchiopexy

2007-04-20T00:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, so in my line of work I have coded this procedure many times. I never expected to have to worry about helping one of my own little men through it!

Troi is having surgery later today and as you can see I cannot sleep. My poor little man. If he's nervous, I can't tell because he is out like a light. Good thing. I am hoping to catch some much needed Z's of my own here in a few.

I am particularly tired and just wanted to get this out there.

Say a prayer for the little guy...and for me too. I am experiencing some anxiety about this and I am certain it's normal.

I recall a time when Kai was first in the NICU and I wanted to snatch him out of his bed and just run away...well, I am having that same feeling now about Troi. I want to run away with him past this moment in time just to get through it.

Nuttin But Stringz

2007-03-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

A little known factoid about me, I love music. All music except country. I have never developed a taste for the stuff...so perhaps there is still hope for me.

I came across this group in the most peculiar of ways. Most of my readers (all 2 of them) know that I have little kidlets. One that is a toddler. To keep him quiet we will sometimes give into his vocal pleas for entertainment. This will usually come at the request of him saying "On" or "Too Too". "On" is usually referring to the radio...which then ultimately leads to his favorite CD (one of them actually) which is the soundtrack to his favorite TV show, Jacks Big Music Show.

Anyway, I digress...upon checking the Noggin site for Jack's Big Music Show, I was checking the episode listing to download the music into my iPod so as to entertain my toddler while on the road or shopping (my iPod is the video one and the toddler knows this now). Anyway, again, I digress...this group was on the sound track listing for the second season...which is the season we are in.

I listened to the clip...and FELL IN LOVE. I love violin and classical music...I especially love it when it's funked up and tweaked...and these boys know just how to do it. I strongly urge you to listen to them if you get a chance...they have a crazy sound that is just mesmerizing. The are soon becoming the most played songs on my iPod!

Good Life

2007-02-19T22:02:00.000-08:00

Overheard a conversation today between two women. One was asking the other if she missed her kids. More than anything the mom replied.

I noticed a wistful look in her eye as she gazed at Kai. I was pushing Kai around in his stroller while Troi was in watching a movie with my friend Kristi. Kai was fussing in the movie so I wanted to take him out...so I did. But it was early on in the move and I wasn't about to sit in the lobby and wait...so we walked out and about. We were taking advantage in the lull in the weather. It was raining hard throughout the day. We went to the movies to escape.

Anyway, while walking around....I bought some hair bands from the $1 store downtown, bought some CDs and stopped at Starbucks (aka 3-bucks cuz you can't leave without spending at least that much!) and while walking back, these women were walking about too.

It really got me thinking about being a mom and how good my life is. Despite the mediocre things I call issues...which really aren't. I have made some good decisions as well as bad. None of course have led me to losing my husband or my kids. I can however, imagine being in those situations. I have an addictive personality and would consider myself borderline if not over the line OCD in many instances...but none of which would ever have me wishing for my kids...or hoping to have my life "more together" to help me get them back.

I was sad for that mom. I know that love she feels for her kids. I know that bond she has with her kids...I do hope she gets her life together to get them back.

For me, I thank God that I have them, that I have my husband and that I have the many blessings I tend to take for granted. I shouldn't do that I know...I need to slow down and truly appreciate all that I have.

Techno Love!

2007-02-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

When I think about all the gadgets I have owned throughout my life and the ones that I cannot live without to this day and I am just awestruck by the length of time I have lived without one of these.....

That is, until now. Thanks to American Express and their delightful rewards program, I was able to get the new 5.5G iPod Video - that is 80GB of space for my music, videos, movies and more....all in the space of the palm of my hand!

Ask me why I need something so big? Actually I don't. I just had so many points available and was closing my account so I wanted to use them up quick. Well, this isn't the Digital Rebel XtI I wanted but it is really floating my boat!

I cannot believe I have steered clear of these babies for so long. Never ever saw the importance of having one.

I have over 10-days worth of songs on this things now, and it's only 1/4 full. I have all my favorite music loaded on play lists and the abstract stuff is just there if ever I want it.

I love my iPod. I can't believe I have been without one for so long. I am thrilled to have one now though!!

Welcome me to the new techno generation.

USANA Super Saturday - WOW

2007-02-10T18:55:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity today to hear some amazing speakers today. Dr. Strand, Jennifer Azzi, Richelle Lund, Mark Wilson, Daniel Song, and so many more I cannot even begin to tell you.

I cannot say who moved me the most because each speaker gave a little bit of themselves to the presentation and I took a little bit of something from each and every one of them.

Jennifer was quite motivational with regards to health and fitness. Attaining our goals was key. What I pulled from her though was that no one should put limitations on themselves with expectations. Expectations are so self limiting. If you look at any situation with the eyes of POSSIBILITY...well that is limitless. You have to have your vision first, then the possibilities. It made me think about Herbie Hancock and his recent album Possibilities. He made a list of the all the artists he would love to work with. He just made that list based on the possibility that some of his list would agree and work with him on this album. Amazingly so many responded and his album is amazing.

Dr. Wolfe spoke abuot the secrets to her success in USANA. I cannot recall all of them but one of her topics was FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real. Another speaker - Ms. Thong spoke about fear too...but she had a twist to hers... Forget Everything And Run and Finding Excuses And Rejection. I haven'e been pursuing USANA as a second business as I would like too. For fear of rejection.

Daniel Song had so many great tidbits of information about overcoming objections. He made me realize that I have been letting my fear of rejection overpower what I know is good. USANA products are the best out there. Tht is not just me "talking the talk" because I want to "sell" vitamins...they are proven to be the best...(ask me how).

Today - it was at USANA Super Saturday. For a few dollars I listened to speakers share their information about topics including health and wellness, wealth and just overcoming fear and succeeding in business.

A few months ago, I became a distributor for USANA. Using their RESET program - I feel healthier and as a result have lost 14 pounds. I haven't been focusing on losing weight...but more on the nourishment piece. Funny how when you fuel you body properly it does the rest.
All this coming from a woman who had surgical staples put in her ears to lose weight...shuh...I learned there are no magic pills...OR STAPLES for that matter.

I heard a great deal of excellent information but was particularly touched by Dr. Wolfe's translation of a song from beautiful lyrics to mesmerizing sign language. It was just beautiful. You could really feel the message better than any lyricist could ever have you listen to.
Here's where I was today. I was able to meet just about everyone on the list except for Collette Larsen. He lovely daughter Sharlie went into labor a few weeks early TODAY so she had to be absent. Sharlie is very special. She has cystic fibrosis just like Kai. :)
That is pretty much how I got involved in USANA via Kai's pediatrician Dr. Christine Wood. When she knew he needed extra calories in his diet and she found out I was using butter and various oils...she suggested a USANA product. I then learned more about the oppotunities and signed up myself.

I would share more with you but I am so exhausted and the couple of glasses of wine I have consumed have gone straight to my head.

In Sickness and In Health - not for weak stomachs

2007-02-02T20:45:00.000-08:00

I know dear reader, you are automatically thinking that I am referring to marriage. In some ways I am. But at this moment I am referring to the unspoken vows of family life.

This past week has been pretty full. A week ago today, we had to run both boys to the pediatrician because both had spiked rather high fevers. One was 102 and the other was nearly to 103. One was coughing and the other was having diarrhea.

Jerome and I both ventured over to the doctors office and were told that Troi had bronchitis and Kai had rotavirus.

Bronchitis - check
That ones easy, cough meds, decongestant, and Z-pak. Cool. Troi took antibiotics for 5 days and by day 2 was already back to his normal self.

rotavirus - hmm...WTF?
This one is not so easy. After the mom here decided to stop beating herself up for not keeping things "clean enough" for the little CFer, I decided to look into this further.

This virus attacks the gi system causing vomiting and diarrhea. At that point we had only witness the diarrhea and fever. On the way home, we experienced the other part. Quite unexpectedly Kai had deposited his stomach contents all over himself, the car seat, and the accompanying seat in which everything was fastened. I had no idea that he could even hold so much inside him considered he had already been excreting it out the other end. Poor guy. He did this twice over the 30 minute ride home, which seemed much longer to this smell-sensitive mother.

Once we arrived home, things got worse. Kai was unable to keep anything down so we stopped feeding him. Mind you, 99% of his calories still come from high-calorie, special-order, super-expensive formula. When advised that we couldn't give him milk, I quickly asked the doc - well, what do I do for him to get him his calories. She recommended a daily supplement of acidophilus and keep him hydrated at all costs.

That we did. He finally started eating again on Sunday in small amounts. When I say eating...I really mean drinking. He is still in OT for that.

Were it not for my darling husband through all this, I think I would have lost my mind completely. He was so good at getting up with me to sponge Kai down and he cleans up those nasty spills that I just cannot. So, marriage is not for those for the weak in stomach and neither is having kids.

I am realizing now in my ripening age, that family is a marriage not only between two people but any offspring too. So, in sickness and in health, I have an excellent partner. Thank God for his iron-clad stomach and his ability to breathe through his mouth. I for one refuse to be a mouth breather when there is something pungent lingering in the air. Why you ask dear reader? Well think about it. All odors are particulate even if in microscopic amounts. So if I can SMELL it...then I can....you get the idea.

Casualty of Christmas (2006)

2007-01-08T12:15:00.001-08:00

IMG_3144
Originally uploaded by cf.sucks.

Every year there is at least one ornament that suffers a tragic death. This year was to be no different.

Troi was helping me take down the tree and was trying to take several down at the same time. His little arms were full and this one had to be sacrificed. One to save the many.

He thought it was my favorite. So he was upset that he broke it. I had to remind myself not to over react. I was upset only that there was broken glass all over the carpet - still not a biggie...but we three (Troi, Kai and myself) were barefooted.

*sigh*

So, my dear reader, this beautiful, handcrafted bulb, not one of my favorites, but one of the more expensive ($6) has drifted off to bulb heaven where it will once again be made whole. It lived a very good life. The best a bulb could live.

I wonder which one will have it's number called next year.

Merry Christmas - Happy New Year

2006-12-30T23:34:00.000-08:00

Been a while since my last post. Things are great here. Christmas came and went without too much drama to speak of...none actually.

As usual I spent too much money on, well, everything and sadly I participated the the consumer orgy that everyone else was participating in as well at this time of year.

I plan on being ready for the heart attack my husband has when he sees the AM EX bill. Once he recovers from that, he will kill me for sure. *sigh*

I am on a shopping moratorium for the next 90 days to compensate for the sickening over consumption of anything that could be bought with plastic.

Otherwise, on the home front- thankfully the kids still believe in Santa! Yippee! Santa managed to come and go without a hitch and left some wonderful gifts for the kids this year. His gifts are easily distinguishable from all others because they are the only ones that remain unwrapped....

How is it at your house? Do you still believe? I still believe in the magic.

Hugs,
Michellene

Coolness...Check the Cool Wax

2006-12-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

I came across this blog...and I thrilled I did...

Click the title and you will see why...

I recall a trip to the record store as a kid and my Dad purchasing a record for me. I believe he bought my brother and I 2 or 3 of them...

I remember this because while growing up...we were taught to never ask for anything when we were out shopping with mom and dad. I am not sure if that was just because it was wrong or because my parents didn't want to be reminded that they were flat broke.

I think it was the latter. But what do I know...I was just a freaking kid.

As for my kids, they have more CDs combined that I can shake a stick at...perhaps I am making up for that which I couldn't have or do when I was a kid.

Anyway, this guy has a ton of great vinyl and he's ripped it just for your enjoyment. Much of it is older than I am but it still reminds me of that trip to the record store. It also reminds me of the vast collection of albums that my Dad had...I loved some of those records...some were clear...some were crazy colors...not just plain black.

Anyway, check this guy out...he ROCKS.

M

Showtime - Showing Dexter Love!

2006-12-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

You have to check out this blog! My dear friend Reylynda is so amazing. Her writing is definitely some of the best out there.

One of my favorite shows of late...besides the The Wire...is pretty much Dexter. There's nothing like a serial killer that fiends for spilling the blood of other serial killers.

His name is Dexter.

Click the link above to read the best review I have ever read about this show. The writers at Showtime have even taken note and had the post up on their website.

Whiskey Tango White Trash

2006-11-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

This is to the woman at Domino's running her mouth at the employees there ESPECIALLY at Diana. What in the world did she ever do to you?

Are you a hater because she has more character than you do in your little finger? Your misconception must be that you are more beautiful than she because you have your token hottie on your arm...who was also running his mouth.

Dear miss blondie-

You started ranting about your credit card being charged twice for pizza you hadn't received yet. Ok...VALID complaint but the way you went about it is all wrong. I understand that you are frustrated with the situation but that doesn't warrant name calling...didn't your mother ever teach you that?

Regardless of the situation you should remain courteous and gracious...you get more bees with honey than you do fecal matter. By your tone and your use of slang words proved possitive you are quite familiar with fecal matter because you were spewing it all over the place...your slang terms such as "Whiskey Tango White Trash" at Diana was really poor form on your part.

For one, it's you that looked bad.

For another, Whiskey Tango IS white trash. So you really called her White Trash White Trash...how stupid is that?

Also, considering we are all from daughters of Eve (no lie...your mitochondrial DNA can be traced back to the 7 daughters of Eve...) then you are related to her...so that makes you...Whiskey Tango Whiskey Tango.

Next time, check yourself before you wreck yourself...

You never know why people are where they are...you never know where they have been and you don't know where people are going...you may run into Diana again someday...She could be your kids Dr when you need some answers...she may be your accountant when you want to know where all your money went...hmm..

It's called Karma.

I would like ring-side seats for the nex time you see Diana or the next time someone is on your ass about a screw up that you made... maybe I will be lucky and it will be on PPV or even UFC! I am betting Diana will clean your clock.

HOT SHOTS!

2006-11-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

You know, I giggle at the name only because when I first met my husband he had to jump someone's dead battery. He's from Baltimore. They call that a HOT SHOT.

Well, that's not what this place is about...but I will never forget the name!

They repair eyeware. ANY eyeware it seems.

I needed a repair in a bad way.

I took Kai and Troi with me to a Parent Teacher conference today and Kai got into someone's desk. He took their little glasses and MANGLED them. Of course, being the responsible parent I am....I knew I had to repair them.

So, I too them to HOT SHOTS! They fixed them in about 10 minutes! NO LIE.

Thank you HOT SHOTS! You ROCK! I appreciate it so very much. I just cannot tell you how you have saved the day! Beat the teachers suggestion all to pieces...she was actually going to just tape them! I couldn't have that.

Thank you again!

Michellene

Too Close To Home!

2006-11-03T21:01:00.000-08:00

There was a shooting the other day in the "unincorporated" area of San Marcos. Little did I know just how close this is to us. Olive St is the street I take to take Troi to school.

Just off Olive is a private road where there are 30+ acres for sale. Within these 30+ acres is Marilyn. Marilyn is the private road that is unincorporated.

Evidently people were shot here.

I do recall seeing Sheriff's flying down Mulberry that evening...and that alone is very very unusual in this neighborhood. It's very quiet and I did make a mental note. Wouldn't you know- this is where it occurred....

Just down the road.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Wynton, Wynton, Wynton....Marsalis that is!

2006-11-03T04:42:00.000-08:00

All I can say is..."Wow".

Jerome took me to dinner on Saturday 10/28/2006. Dinner and a show.

What a show it was!

Wynton Marsalis Quintet was simply amazing. Every note, every riff...every single piece they played was simply amazing.

Everytime I see Wynton play his horn, I am smitten.

Not only is he an amazing musician, but everyone that played with him has some amazing talent.

Dear God - I believe...I really do...

2006-10-23T23:37:00.001-07:00

Dear God, hope you got the letter, and...

I pray you can make it better down here.

I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer

but all the people that you made in your image

see them starving on their feet

'cause they don't get enough to eat from God

I can't believe in you Dear God

sorry to disturb you

but... I feel that I should be heardloud and clear.

We all need a big reduction in amount of tears

and all the people that you made in your image

see them fightingin the street

'cause they can't make opinions meet about God

I can't believe in you

Did you make disease

and the diamond blue?

Did you make mankind

after we made you?

And the devil too!

- XTC, Dear God

I for one, believe in God. These lyrics always appealed to me because I am able to think abstractly. I know there are many moments in our lives that cause us to cry out to God...for help...for praise...for thanks...in anger.

It's that anger that has struck me today. My best friend Jenn called me yesterday. She shared with me something that was on her mind...she received a call from her mom about her Aunt L. Aunt L has been battling breast cancer, and was for a while thought to have kicked it's ass...but now...she has lesions on her brain that are causing a rapid decline in her health...the prognosis is grave...and it's my understanding that Aunt L...is dying.

Yes yes I know we are all standing with one foot in the grave...but why Aunt L? She's a light in the lives of so many...why must this light be snuffed out too early?

So, this brings me to think about the song above...Dear God...why Aunt L?

I love God and think that everything that occurs has a divine purpose. The purpose may often be a mysery to those fulfilling that purpose...but it is a purpose all the same.

Yard Birds

2006-10-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

Lately I have noticed an icreasing number of bird visitors to our yard. It's not uncommon since we do, afterall, love sort of in the country...sub-urban is more like...but we have a 1 acre lot. There is grass missing in some spots....

These birds...are just crazy!

They fly from spot to spot in the same yard they fly away...

I thought the sheer number in the bald spots in the yard to be cool enough to take pictures...of course I am insane and will take photos of just about anything...

Brianne Shelton

2006-10-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

I never had the opportunity to meet this young woman. She worked for the medical organization that I contract for.

I read about her in the health system newsletter...and was saddened about the loss of life.

Her plane crashed en route to do charity work...fulfilling what I believe to be a very noble cause...providing medical care to those in need.

My most sincere condolences to Brianne's family...immediate and extended.

Just reading about her in the newletter...and again online...she will be missed.

Her website is down right now. I hope it will be back up soon...I would love to read more about her...not morbid curiosity...I never got to meet her...perhaps I can meet her this way.

Visit:
http://www.brianneshelton.com

Click the title for the local news clipping.

Florida's Sadness

2006-10-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am so disgusted by this crime. A suspect is on the loose out there...after killing four people...2 of them children. It just makes me sick to think that this person is still on the loose.

Can you imagine?

The mother was clutching her children tightly under her...as she herself died in the fetal position...doing what every mother would do...protecting her children.

WTF

2006-10-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Is there a book of manners out there regarding photo taking?

If there is, hook a sista up!

Once I read it and master it...I will surely school everyone else on it.

When I got married, my photographer had no qualms about telling you to get out of her picture...she pissed off a lot of people that day...

I was just thinking about her today...while at the beach with my boys...a woman was in my photos...I would have never told her to get out...it's a freaking public beach...but if I knew I was in someones picture...I surely would be inclined to get my fat ass out of it.

5 Minute Monsoon

2006-10-07T19:04:00.000-07:00

Alright now, that's a bit of an exaggeration...to say the least...but one minute it was sunny and then the next it was pouring!! Before the downpour...Kai and I spotted a rainbow...

:)

My Anutie Linda in Hawaii says that the islands is home of many rainbows and in each rainbow, we see Nana (her mom) smiling down on us.

So, I had to take a photo...or 2....

Hi Nana!!

Feel Like Whining About Life? Think Again

2006-10-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

Nick is amazing. Jenn gave me a DVD of Nick's sometime ago that I have never watched. Not because I didn't want to...but to be honest I was afraid of being moved.

Does that make sense?

Read Nick's story.

I am off to watch his DVD.

He's speaking tonight at Point Loma Nazarene. It's free to the public...and I just know it's going to be hell trying to get in.

I heard about it on KOGO today on my home from Kai's OT appt.

Check him out. He's in Cali all week...

In Memory - We Will Not Forget

2006-09-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

Scientists and engineers simulate jet colliding with World Trade Center from PhysOrg.com

Researchers at Purdue University have created a simulation that uses scientific principles to study in detail what likely happened when a commercial airliner crashed into the World Trade Center's North Tower on Sept. 11, 2001.

[...]

Scientists today recreate the collapse of the WTC twin towers...replicating a jet crashing into the buildings. Full Text article above.

Also visit the attached link for Jersey photos.

To all those families directly affected by this senseless act of terrorism...I send you my condolences.

The Seven Daughters of Eve - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2006-09-11T13:36:00.000-07:00

Looks like we are all truly related...

There's a theory anyway, that is that 7 clan mothers who are daughter's of Eve. These 7 women, share the same mother...and each has their own mitochondrial DNA profile but all can be linked to the one woman, Eve.

Crazy huh?

Just makes me realize that this whole genetic thing really isn't that hard to believe...you know, the numbers that are crunched to calculate those affected by certain genetic condions...like CF.

It's not so far off simply because we are all related.

Craziness huh?

The Seven Daughters of Eve - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Searching for a Cure...funds for a cure that is...

2006-09-06T01:18:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of search engines other than Google. I am major Googler...use it at least 100 times (if not more) per day.

It's fast and I get what I need every single time...I am a Google Master.

Google doesn't pay me to search though. Nothing against Google at all. I still love Google...but check this out...

By using Goodsearch and selecting ".CFF" include the period...you would come up with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in Bethesda, MD. They are the headquarters for all things CF.

Kai has CF and I would love to have a cure for this disease so he can outlive me! :)

Please earn Search for the Cure...but searching using Goodsearch...be blessed knowing that every search generates a penny closer to a cure...sure...may not seem like much at all...but when you add them all up...it's still that much closer....

Charity or School Size Number of Supporters Average Searches Per Day Estimated Revenue/Year
Small 100 2 $730
Medium 1,000 2 $7,300
Large 10,000 2 $73,000

I Killed Shamu

2006-08-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

While on my way in to work tonight, driving down the 15 South, traffic started to really slow and nearly stop because of debris in the road. I couldn't tell what it was right away, until something popped up and I just ran it over.

It was what appeared to be a stuffed Shamu... The unmistakable black and white whale shape...jumped up and I struck it at a moderate rate of speed...stuffing flew everywhere...

I also noted several other "babies" in the road...looks like maybe someone tossed it out of the car, lost donatable items, or maybe someone just has a wicked mean sibling that was mad...or maybe better yet...

Maybe they had a Dad like mine... Don't get me wrong..I love my Dad. He's grown up so much through the years...when we were young though, he had ZERO tolerance for stupidity/insubordination...or really anything that didn't go with his idea of how kids should act...With that being said....

I recall one time when my Dad took us camping in the mountains. My brother (younger by 1 year) had a brand new Tonka truck. We were playing with it at a campground in the dirt, while my Dad made us lunch. I recall the lunch vividly - peanut butter and mustard sandwiches...yah, it sounds nasty but I remember it being quite yummy. Although, I can't say I would recreate that same culinary delight in my kitchen any time soon...

Well, my brother and I started bickering about sharing the truck...mind you the damned thing was his in the first place...and I had to play with it. A tug of war ensued...then along came Daddy.

He took the truck from us and shouted at us...something along the lines,

"If you two S-O-Bs can share the G-damned truck, then neither of you can play with it."

He proceded to pry the truck from our clenched hands and he demolished that damned thing into a couple of pieces and most impressively flat as a G-damned pancake!

Mind you, this was early 70's and I could swear I recall a commercial about Tonka trucks being super strong and having the ability to withstand incredible amounts of force...like an elephant standing on it ...or was that Samsonite? I just knew my Dad was freaking Superman or something like that since he could do that to a TONKA!

From that moment on, I knew we couldn't let Dad see us bicker about a trivial toy...that is, if we ever wanted to see it again as it was meant to be seen. We still bickered and I think we still had shit tossed out or destroyed I am sure...but I can't recall any but this one right now.

So killing Shamu tonight, brought on this flashback...because I could just see my Dad -

"If you two can't share Shamu and all these other f**king dolls/animals than no one gets it!!"

As he chucks them out the car window one after the other....

Poor kids...

I am sorry I killed your Shamu...

Cadbury's Roses

2006-08-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

You know, I love children's books. Especially ones that have a message that everyone can get.

This particular story is written by a mom of a cf'er.
It's for kids with cf...to understand their 65 Roses better.

Enjoy

Untitled Document

Lung-pancreas transplant is 1st of its kind | IndyStar.com

2006-08-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Lung-pancreas transplant is 1st of its kind IndyStar.com

Wowee Zowee!! Isn't this so incredible?

I didn't realize it was the first of it's kind...considering I have had a strong feeling this was possible and thought this was something done normally....

I guess not! This is truely amazing. I can't say it's a medical breakthrough, since that would be a cure for cf...but it is a medical milestone!

Acceptance

2006-08-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.
Kathleen Casey Theisen

When you think about all the ways things are, all the ways things could be, and all the ways things should be, acceptance of the way things are is the best way to deal with a situation.

You know the familiar sayings that revolve around life not being easy and life being a bitch...Well, I believe it's what you make of it. It is what it is.

I had my car worked on the other day and my mechanics wife Judy is the biggest sweetheart that you could ever encounter. It has been over a year since I last talked to her. Our last conversation was about Kai and we talked about him while standing in the local grocery store.

Life has zoomed right by...

She asks me about my relationship with Jerome...and tell her the truth.

My relationship with Jerome couldn't be better. We have our days and moments, but with the diagnosis of Kai, things just don't seem to be that big of a deal. It put things swiftly in perspective. Sure I still get annoyed when he's bugging about the laundry or the kitchen, or my socks on the floor....(Who's the nag?) Well, I think everyone who has ever been in a relationship knows all too well what comes with that. Tolerance. Before you commit to anyone, you have to decide if the things that annoy you about that person are so bad you can't live with them, well then it's time to move on. If you can, and you like the person, love the person...not necessarily giddy-in-love (that goes away not matter who you are with) but just want to share your life with that person, then go for it.

That's what Jerome and I did. We accept each other for who we are...and who we aren't. I am not Susie homemaker - Martha Stewart wanna be. He knows that, accepts it...for the most part...and that's that. What relationship/partnership couldn't do with a little more sex and a lot more money...or is it the other way around?

It is what it is.

Clinic Visit 8/24

2006-08-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

Well, Kai is 11.33 kilos. He's 33.5 inches tall. His lungs are perfectly clear.

We started TOBI for a + airway culture. Pseudomonas as I mentioned previously is bad for cf-ers. It's bad for anyone with a chronic respiratory condition but especially those with cf. The thick mucus in the lungs hold onto the crap and won't let go...so TOBI will hopefully kick it's butt....

So, Kai is doing great...we are still following his high cal diet so he can get chubby.

It's now:
4 ounces of whole milk + 4 ounces of half and half
Jar baby food with oil (we use Omega oil with all the EFA's he needs for his brain) or we just put the spreadable butter in it (we like the Land O Lakes spreadable butter)

We have been referred to occupational therapy so he can learn to eat. I think we have been so hard on him for putting stuff in his mouth, we missed a learning milestone for him to put food in his mouth....

*sigh*

So, OT it is...we can get him in there and they can teach him how to eat.

TOBI is going rough, we get started ok but half way during the treatment, Kai gets antsy and wants to get down. This is just something he's got to get used to and his behavior is completely normal. He's just being a toddler.

Perspective

2006-08-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks Camille for sharing this information about the movie with me. I haven't seen it yet, but just reading the story behind the movie moved me.

This is from the website:

ABOUT THE FILM
Featuring fierce rivalry, stopwatch suspense, and larger-than-life personalities,
MURDERBALL, winner of the Documentary Audience Award and a Special Jury Prize for
Editing at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival, is a film about tough, highly competitive rugby
players. Quadriplegic rugby players. Whether by car wreck, fist fight, gun shot, or rogue
bacteria, these men have been forced to live life sitting down. In their own version of the
full-contact sport, they battle each other in custom-made gladiator-like wheelchairs, pursuing
gold medals and proving to themselves and to anyone who sees them in action that there is
life after disability.

From the gyms of middle America to the Olympic arena in Athens, Greece,
MURDERBALL tells the story of a group of indomitable, world-class athletes unlike any
ever shown on screen. It will smash every stereotype you ever had about “gimps” and
“cripples.” It is a film about family, revenge, honor, and the triumph of love over loss. But
most of all, it is a film about standing up, even after your spirit, and your spine, have been
crushed.

Based on the article by Dana Adam Shapiro, MURDERBALL was co-directed by Henry-
Alex Rubin and Shapiro, and produced by Jeffrey Mandel and Shapiro. During their long
and intense collaboration, the three filmmakers drew on their individual skills to form a tight,
proficient team.

In the simplest terms, all three shaped the story by bringing distinct talents to the project.
Shapiro, a former magazine editor, dealt directly with the characters and coordinated the
music. Mandel handled many of the business logistics, including rights acquisition and
planning the shooting schedule. And Rubin, who had extensive film school and
filmmaking experience, shot the film and oversaw the technical aspects. “But we all did
a little bit of everything,” says Shapiro, “which is why it is a film by the three of us.
Rubin did interviews. Mandel helped with music. And I shot when we needed two
cameras.” In fact, their creativity and ingenuity knew no boundaries, as the determined
filmmakers labored to make their dream of MURDERBALL a reality.

MURDERBALL addresses the common misconceptions many people have about
quadriplegics. It is important, for example, to establish that a “quad” is a person who has
partial impairment of all four limbs – a quad does not have to be an invalid. As the film
shows, with therapy and the help of wheelchairs, quads can lead independent lives. They
can drive, cook, have sex, and as the opening scene of the film illustrates, put on their pants
one leg at a time, just like everyone else. But the quads who had been athletes, adventurers,
or risk-takers -- or those who dreamed of this kind of life – despaired that they would never
experience extreme physical activity and the rush that accompanies it, until they learned
about Quad rugby. Hearing about Quad rugby gave these young men hope: actually playing
the game gave them a renewed sense of purpose in their lives.

The subject of MURDERBALL, disabled men finding meaning through their involvement in
a sport, could easily have been the basis for a film that was soft and inspirational instead of
hard-hitting and dramatic. But filmmakers Shapiro, Rubin, and Mandel were determined to
avoid the sentimental stereotypes that generally surface in stories about the handicapped. “I
hate inspiring disability movies,” says Rubin. “If I were to see a film about disabilities on
television I’d probably switch the channel.” Adds Shapiro, “We never wanted to make one
of those up-with people, pat-on-the-back, good-for-you films. You know, ‘Look at the
inspiring cripples.’ A lot of stories about people overcoming obstacles are unintentionally
condescending.” Their objective was to make the audience focus on the men, not their
handicaps or their wheelchairs. “I’d like to imagine that people watching the film are
thinking, ‘that guy is so cool,’ or, ‘he’s a jerk,’ just the way they’d react to any on-screen
personality, instead of ‘I’m so proud of him,’” Mandel explains.

To achieve this goal, the filmmakers made a documentary that followed the rules of fiction.
“During the shooting, we discussed fiction films, not docs,” recalls Rubin. “We talked about
movies such as THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES, THE GREAT SANTINI, and
ROCKY. We tried hard to follow an old screenwriting rule: show, not tell. Instead of
bombarding the audience with statistics of how many people become quadriplegics every
year, we tried to capture the expression on newly-injured quad’s face as he was wheeled into
the therapy gym.” By emphasizing the universal elements in the story – sports rivalry and
patriotism, relationships among fathers, sons, best friends, and lovers, the ecstasy of winning
and the agony of losing – the film enables viewers to identify with the “characters” and their
situations. As the people emerge, the wheelchairs recede. “The wheelchairs are supposed to
become seamless parts of the characters, like a signature piece of clothing – not the story
itself,” Mandel observes.

The selection of these characters was crucial to the success of MURDERBALL. The
filmmakers faced the challenge of finding quadriplegic athletes who could carry the drama,
as well as bring the sport to life. Contrary to their expectations, the hardest part of “casting”
was that there were so many interesting candidates with compelling stories for the project.
They had to whittle down the amazing selection of people and anecdotes into a manageable
narrative. As Mandel points out, “The great thing about the milieu of quad rugby is that it
attracts people with strong and distinctive personalities.”

If the quads in MURDERBALL impress and inspire us – and they do – it is not only
because they have overcome insurmountable odds. Judged by any standards, Mark
Zupan, Joe Soares, and the other Quad Rugby players profiled in the film, are
remarkable athletes and even more remarkable men. MURDERBALL – a compelling,
enlightening, and even exhilarating film – is, first and foremost, their story.

*****

Ok, so I still hate cf. Just am glad to be. Just be.

2006-08-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

CF News!

http://www.cff.org/news/news/

Looks like some breakthrough drugs are in the pipeline and already in clinical trials.

I pray they are successful.

2006-08-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

Do you need to know more about CF?

http://www.cff.org/about_cystic_fibrosis/

Go to that link above and you can feed your brain with all sorts of information about CF.

:)

Donating Pancreatic Enzymes

2006-08-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Ha! If this could only be possible. I truly believe that I am oversufficient...I gain weight quickly and easily. Unlike Kai.

They say that Kai is on the small side even though for his age he is the 25 percentile. For his height, he is in the 80+ percentile. They want to close the gap.

So, lucky Kai gets to feast on heavy Whipping Cream, whole milk, and half and half.

Lucky guy.

He's got a clinic appointment on Thursday - so I will be sure to let you know the outcome of that. Last visit he was a whopping 24 pounds...

2006-08-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

WOO HOO!! Thank you God!

Yep, I thank God for giving me the blessings of my husband. He signed up for the group insurance policy at his work so we have insurance coverage now. They have covered Kai's medication - TOBI.

TOBI is Tobramycin in a liquid form, specially formulated for inhalation therapy. It is THE ONE that combats Pseudomonas aeruginosa (Pa). Kai's last cf clinic visit resulted in not only a new diet but a positive airway culture too!

So, the UPS man should be ringing the bell any moment to hand over the little box of ampoules for the Kai-man's nebulizer treatments! The medication is almost 3600 dollars for ever month of therapy. He will be every other month for the next 6 months. That will hopefully knock out the Pa.

Now, it won't knock it out for good. The type he has is nonmucolytic which means it is the one that comes and goes. The mucolytic type is the one we are trying to avoid since that is the one that doesn't go away....It comes and stays and does some permanent damage to the lungs.

So, TOBI it is...

I think we should name our next dog TOBI. That's kind of cute.

Well, thanks for tuning in.

Off I go to take a nap with the little chunky monkey.

-M

2006-08-16T01:32:00.000-07:00

I belong to an online support group. CF Infants and Toddlers at Yahoo groups. A new member just joined and I was very touched to read her story about her daughter and their trials and tribulations dealing with CF.

CF Sucks.
I hate it.

Heather's Thoughts and Updates

2006-07-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

With all the dog gone screening healthcare does, would you believe we have had an active case of TB on a Navy ship? When I was in the Navy, this would have been caught sooner. Even the IDC's on the ship obviously didn't consider this a likely diagnosis.

This is unfortunate for the estimated 500 exposed. Hopefully they will only manifest a positive PPD test and NOT an acute case of TB. TB, while treatable still can cause significant damage to healthy lung tissue.

Tuberculosis Quarantine

Ever Wonder?

2005-10-11T18:20:00.000-07:00

I decided to start blogging about my little family of mutants. That is gene mutants....let me do some splaining....

Kai was born on 1/28/05 with a Meconium Ileus. This is where that first baby poop gets stuck and won't come out. That first baby poop is called meconium. The ileus is the last part of the small intestine before the large intestine picks up the work.

So, meconium ileus just means his poop was stuck in the ileus.

We were warned that there was a possibility this could mean that he had CF...but based on our ethnicity it was doubtful. Ha....don't let anyone fool you or tell you that it isn't possible....I am here to tell you that it is.